House Stuff

Some of you may know us well enough to have been to our house. We are not fancy people. We try- truly we do. Sometimes. But the truth is we are not decorators. Neither of us has any sense of style or interior design. We place furniture so that it is out of the way and so that you can see the tv. Also, electric furniture goes near a plug. And that, my friend, is how our house is set up. Recently it has come to our attention that one of our couches is what some people call “hideous.” And now that I have gone to actually look at it I can’t help but agree with them. It was a lovely good will purchase that Mia helped me find one fine spring day. (Ah, the memories of wife beater tank tops and Mia stalling out the truck while swearing she could drive a stick.) And in my defense, this was Ollie’s couch- the couch where the dog is free to lounge on and drool on and eat snacks on. Anyway, the couch has lived a long time and served its purpose as an Ollie bed and occasionally as a place to sit if you are not picky and more often a place to sleep if you have had too much wine. But it is time for the yellow and orange couch to go to its resting place. Mostly because Ollie is of the age where he can really only look at the couch with nostalgic lounging and can’t actually get up on it.

Reading time!


Getting rid of this couch will free up a lot of space in our living room. Which brings me to the coffee table and end tables we have. These, as opposed to the couch, are perfectly lovely tables. (Side note- they came from a consignment store as well!) The origin is not the point, the point is, these are nice little tables which are fairly cute and do their job of a dining room table when you want to sit in the living room and watch TV during dinner. Hahaha, I am kidding, we sit at the dining room table, use linen napkins, and discuss important things. Really, really important things. Things like you would hear on NPR and Nancy Grace and stuff. Anyway, I digress. My point is that while these are tables that we like, I am reluctant to admit we also call them the coffee tables of death. At each corner of these tables (2 end tables and 1 coffee table- that is 12 corners in all for my liberal arts friends) there is a fancy wrought iron design which can only be described as 3 claws (12 times 3 is 36. Stay with me on this…) extending out to rip your clothes and tear at your flesh. Now then… bear in mind these claws are also on the bottom of the tables, bring our claw count to 72 in total (36 at the top and 36 more at the bottom). It was an amusing little gauntlet of sorts to navigate while sober and downright terrifying while drinking. Wait, I have those two backwards- terrifying sober and amusing while drinking. That seems more accurate. The long story short is that Travis is of the opinion that these are NOT appropriate furniture pieces to keep at the house where a toddling baby to learn to walk. I can’t help but think one of two things will happen; one, she will get a bad ass scar on her face- something along the lines of Indiana Jones – or two, she will be incredibly agile. Either way it is a win-win situation, right?

At any rate, I lost the fight and the tables are going too. We are soon going to have a very empty living room. On the plus side, it gives Brenna plenty of room to walk… umm…crawl…. roll around. (Joking- she is getting close to crawling. She can go backwards!) On the down side, Travis and I are slack and probably won’t replace this furniture until sometime around 2017. Maybe there will be space couches by then. Or maybe my Dad needs a project. Dad if you read this – bring coffee table plans soon!

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2 Comments

  1. August 26, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    All that talk and no picture of the couch????

  2. barry lide said,

    August 30, 2010 at 11:18 am

    this made me laugh out loud. keep it up!! Loving the blog.


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